The Shit List

The Shit List

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The Shit List #3
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The Shit List #3

Pirates & Mermaids

Jun 16, 2025
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The Shit List #3
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Welcome to the third issue of The Shit List. This week there’s a loose maritime theme as we review pirates and The Little Mermaid, plus we rank mythical creatures in order of fuckability. And they say journalism is dead!


The Shit List: Pirates

A pirate in the wild. Photo credit: mal vickers/Flickr.

Pirates, much like cowboys and astronauts, are a core childhood archetype. Unfortunately, this stereotype promotes nautical larceny and state-sanctioned organised crime. Pirates are seaborne degenerates who spend their lives engaging in a range of debauchery including problem drinking, unprotected intercourse and worst of all, singing sea shanties. Disgusting.

The closest most people can get to experiencing the pirate life of maritime alcoholism, flouting of international laws and group buggery is going on a cruise, albeit with slightly less buggery.

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© 2025 Rick Furphy and Geoff Rissole
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