Quarter-Finals - Australia's Shittest Regional Food

Just 8 atrocities remain in our quest to find Australia’s Shittest Regional Food. Scroll down to vote in the Quarter-Finals!

Voting closes Monday 24 July, before the Semi-Finals begin on Tuesday 25 July.

Revisit the previous round’s match-ups here.

If you haven’t already, don’t forget to subscribe to have the next round’s voting form delivered to your inbox.

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QF1: Pie Floater v Dagwood Dog

Pie floater (Adelaide/Port Pirie)

A meat pie dumped upside down in a bowl of pea soup and topped with tomato sauce, the pie floater was almost certainly invented by accident. Why anyone would want to intentionally repeat that culinary disaster is anyone’s guess.

Dagwood dog (nationwide)

Also known as pluto pups or dippy dogs depending on which shit town you’re from, the dagwood dog is a dodgy snag composed largely of roadkill and medical waste, slathered in enough batter to entomb a toddler before being jammed in a deep fryer.

Which is more shit?

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QF2: Halal Snack Pack v Florrie

Halal snack pack (nationwide)

Also known as the ‘HSP’, the ‘meat box’ or in South Australia the ‘AB’ (which stands for ‘afterbirth’, ‘abortion’ or ‘anal belch’, depending on who you ask), this sloppy mess of heart attack ingredients (kebab meat and chips drowned in several sauces) is perfect if you need an Allah-endorsed hangover remedy.

Florrie (Horsham)

​​A flat, crumbed piece of horse steak wrapped around a slice of ham and a bit of cheese, often drowned in gravy to mask the awful taste, the florrie definitely doesn’t look like something you’d want anywhere near your mouth.

Which is more shit?

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QF3: Cheese Slaw v Smiley Fritz

Cheese slaw (Broken Hill)

An unholy melange of cheddar, carrot and emu semen that only the most depraved individuals would claim is food.

Smiley fritz (Adelaide)

A variation of bung fritz (anus sausage) with marks resembling facial features, slices of smiley fritz are traditionally given to children in South Australian supermarkets so they can bite eye holes and wear them as a mask. Ideal for any budding Ed Gein.

Which is more shit?

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QF4: Frog Cake v Fairy Bread

Balfours frog cake (Adelaide)

Sponge, cream and fondant sculpted into the shape of a frog’s head, the frog cake is the perfect dessert for people who want to pretend they’re Ozzy Osbourning an amphibian.

Fairy bread (nationwide)

Looking like a pixie has blasted a three-day load onto a slice of white death, fairy bread is ubiquitous at birthday parties of Aussie kids with lazy parents. Containing enough sugar to cause instant diabetes and tasting like tooth decay, fairy bread is less a tasty treat and more child abuse. Anyone eating fairy bread after puberty should be arrested immediately.

Which is more shit?