Semi-Finals - Australia's Shittest Big Thing
After three rounds of voting for Australia’s Shittest Big Thing, the final four contestants have been found. Scroll down to vote in the Semi-Finals!
Voting closes Monday 27 June, before the Grand Final begins on Tuesday 28 June.
If you haven’t already, don’t forget to subscribe to have the next round’s voting form delivered to your inbox.
SF1: Koala v Bin
The Giant Koala (Dadswells Bridge, VIC)
A gigantic red-eyed, hairy-eared replica of the only creature with more chlamydia than a local youth, the Giant Koala is the perfect mascot for the nearby shit town of Horsham: awkward, disfigured and looking like it’s been up for three days straight on a JobSeeker-funded meth binge. It also features the world’s only gift shop housed in a marsupial’s vagina.
The World’s Tallest Bin (Kalgoorlie, WA)
Fittingly for a dumpster fire of a town, Kalgoorlie’s attempt at a Big Thing is a giant rubbish bin — or to be accurate, an eight-metre length of rusty pipe with some handles and ‘The World’s Tallest Bin’ painted on it. The Big Bin was installed as a promotional prop to discourage littering, despite the irony that it is far too tall for anyone to use. Someone needs to make an even bigger bin to put this bin in.
Which is more shit?
SF2: Potato v Cook
The Big Potato (Robertson, NSW)
The main tourist attraction of Robertson barely qualifies as a Big Thing as it’s basically just a septic tank that someone painted brown and called a potato. Obviously designed by someone who had never seen a spud before, it looks more like a surprise gift from Amber Heard than anything you’d want to put in your gob. The Big ‘Pootato’ not only resembles a shit, but also suffered the ignominy of being welded shut because people kept defecating inside it.
The Big Captain Cook (Cairns Mount Molloy, QLD)
Incredibly, someone in Cairns thought it would be a great idea to construct a towering statue of Captain Cook giving an unmistakable Hitler salute (which also works as an accidental critique of colonisation). Very recently, Adolf Cook was toppled and moved from his home of fifty years in Cairns to a more appropriate location: lying on his arse in a scrap yard in Mount Molloy.
Which is more shit?
Keep an eye out next week for the Grand Final!
The Giant Potato looks like a BIG Turd!!
The Giant Potato Turd still hanging in there “Dag” style for the win! 🤗