STOA Newsletter #212

Australia's Shittest Big Thing

Jun 20, 2025

Welcome to another Shit Towns of Australia newsletter.

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Australia’s Shittest Big Thing

Three years ago, we ran a series of polls to find Australia’s Shittest Big Thing, with Robertson’s poo-like potato famously taking the brown crown. But a lot can change in three years. Old Big Things get torn down, new Big Things get erected, and public opinions evolve. So we’re doing it again!

We need your help to put together a shortlist of 16 cringeworthy concrete creatures, fibreglass fruits and other oversized embarrassments. Hit the Comment button below to suggest which mediocre monuments to include in the poll!

Shit Region: Sunshine Coast

Photo credit: Alizada Studios/Shutterstock.com

The Sunshine Coast is a slightly less awful version of the Gold Coast, but that’s like comparing a shit sandwich with a diarrhoea taco. While the Gold Coast is famous for roller-coasters, failed sports franchises and STDs, the Sunshine Coast is known for cranky boomers, a complete lack of nightlife and a painful line-up of ‘attractions’ that are somehow less fun than staying at home. It’s essentially the Gold Coast for people who are confused by flashing lights.

From Maroochydump to Poosa Heads, the Sunshine Coast is a cluster of bulging shit towns clinging to the coast like septic haemorrhoids, populated largely by geriatrics wanting to die somewhere sandy and warm. Hobbies include whingeing about the Gold Coast, reminiscing on the days when the Sunshine Coast was cow-pat-covered paddocks before the tourists and developers ruined everything with all their money and First-World facilities, and getting stuck on the Bruce Highway trying to escape to somewhere less horrible.

For visitors, the Sunshine Coast has everything required for a disappointing holiday. The only theme park of any note is an Australia-themed amusement park, home of such controversial rides as the Coward Punch Coaster, the Drink-Drive Dodgems and the Racism-Go-Round. The next best thing is Steve Irwin’s Australia Zoo, where tourists can get up close and personal with a chlamydia-riddled koala. (The ‘swim with stingrays’ experience is no longer offered.) Another star attraction is the Buderim Ginger Factory, which produces an estimated 40 per cent of the world’s undesirable babies. The factory has a number of ginger-themed rides including the Ginger Train, which also happens to be the name of a popular activity in the homosexual community. Confusingly, the Buderim Ginger Factory is no longer located at Buderim, having moved to nearby Yandina in 1980 without bothering to change its name.

The Sunshine Coast is also home to an excessive number of Australia’s embarrassing ‘Big Things’, including the Big Pineapple at Woombye, the Big Pelican at Noosaville, the Big Mower at Beerwah and the Big Crack Pipe at Nambour. The only redeemable feature on the Sunshine Coast is its beaches, at least until they are swallowed by rising sea levels, taking the region’s entire economy down with them. On the plus side, by the time climate change finally wipes the place out (in about five years), the entire population of the Sunshine Coast will have already succumbed to death by old age.

From our book Shit Towns of Australia, available in stores and online.

Shit Town Power Rankings

Mackay, QLD — Gronk steals ambulance while ambos attend to patient
Buderim, QLD — Imbeciles on e-bikes spray fire extinguisher through car window into baby’s face
Adelaide, SA — Woman sucks off man beside playground in Hungry Jack’s; gronkess armed with rake takes stolen car on destructive rampage after trying to steal excavator
Gold Coast, QLD — Video shows morons dangling from top of 77-storey tower; gronk arrested for allegedly driving dangerously in car full of stolen vegetables; dad and son confronted by homeless couple rooting in public toilet
Port Pirie, SA — Drongos suffer burns after accidentally setting getaway car on fire after torching house
Townsville, QLD — Suspended mayor caught shit-talking council colleagues under fake name; drongo nabbed after ripping burnout in front of cops in unregistered car; elderly man sentenced for punching on at car wash
Hervey Bay, QLD — Gronk in stolen backhoe leaves trail of destruction across Fraser Coast, knocking out power and closing roads
Geelong, VIC — Drunk driver crashes into breath testing site
Goulburn, NSW — Student cop charged with drink-driving after crashing into boom gate at Police Academy
Colac, VIC — Serial pest shits outside linen shop 3 times