STOA Newsletter #111
Nambour & the Sunny Coast
Welcome to another edition of the Shit Towns of Australia newsletter. This week: a brand new shit town review, another slang map, some heartwarming fan mail, and your weekly power rankings.
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Shit Town: Nambour
Stranded in the Sunshine Coast hinterland, Nambour is the region’s dero bit, where all the druggies and drongos end up when they’re driven out of coastal areas by cashed-up interlopers. The suburb is miles from the beach, but most coasties would argue it’s still not far enough. Popular things to do in ‘Nambortion’ include ramming a police car in a stolen police car, blowing your JobSeeker on crack, and having your housing commission shack raided by cops in hazmat suits.
Nambour’s two major tourist attractions are the Big Pineapple and the big methadone clinic, both of which are irresistible to local bogans. The iconic Big Pineapple celebrates locals’ love of shoving big spiky things up their arseholes — there is even an annual Big Pineapple Festival featuring a competition to see who can fit the angriest fruit up their clacker. Another important date on the calendar is the Nambour Festival, a fun family day out featuring events such as ice cooking demonstrations, cocaine tasting, and the ever-popular needle scramble. Don’t miss it!
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Sunshine Coast Slang Map
A slang map of the Sunshine Coast created by Topher Agar.
Available as a poster or print from our merch store here.
Previous maps in this series: Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide, Perth, Canberra, Gold Coast, Newcastle, Tasmania, Illawarra, Central Coast, New Zealand.
Fan Mail: Central Coast
Some of last week’s response to our Central Coast review.
Shit Town Power Rankings
Melbourne, VIC — Psycho beats the shit out of woman on crutches in frenzied road rage attack; 2 hospitalised after mass brawl at BBQ
Logan, QLD — Fucking maniac rams two cars and shoots at one on motorway
Alice Springs, NT — Ferals brawl in street with machetes; drongo with ankle bracelet tries to jump on moving freight train but falls off and breaks shoulder
Sydney, NSW — High school teacher busted filming up students’ skirts; Uber Eats driver gets 1-star review for refusing to deliver crystal meth
Canberra, ACT — Gronk jailed after hitting 100km/h on escooter during police chase; Nick Kyrgios’s Tesla stolen at gunpoint
Townsville, QLD — Knife-wielding druggo threatens motorists; morons crash stolen car after failing to ram police vehicle
Ingham, QLD — Gronk rides imaginary bike through Macca’s drive-thru before whipping out axe and robbing cashier
Griffith, NSW — 6-year-old finds used needles, drugs and condom wrappers in shopping centre toilet
Claremont, TAS — Creepy landlord lists room rent-free in exchange for sex
Port Pirie, SA — Still shit
Farcebukakke sucks bollox, since the libtardflakes got in.
Greetings from Johannesburg, South Africa.
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OMG Your Map Loganistan is brilliant, I'm not sure what amuses me more your Shit town descriptions or the Ridiculous Sad sacks who get upset and send Nasty comments, actually Both are Funny as (well you know what) :) Love your stuff keep it coming.